Let your hair down
Posted on 18. Jul, 2012 by Manish Goel in Monk's Diary
Yes I have a hair story.
Hairs are an integral part of one’s personality; so were they for me. I was fond of my light brown hair, silken hair, inherited from my mother. But I was more in love with my mother’s hair rather than mine. As a three year old, I regularly watched her doing her makeup. I would run to her and nag her, “Maa! Let your hair down.” I always loved it when she hung her hair loose, and not platted. She never loved the idea of loose hair, but she loved my nagging.
Some years later, because of her increased thyroid problem she started losing her hair. It was a disturbing phase but she could deal with it. What disturbed her more? – When I got hair problems. My hair trouble started when I consulted a skin specialist for my receding hairline. The doctor prescribed me a medication which caused me allergies, drying of scalp and increased dandruff. I stopped the medicine. Few days later, I got viral fever and visited another doctor who prescribed me an antibiotic, Ciprofloxacin. After 2 days of medication, my allergies worsened. My entire body became red and I had high fever. The fever subsided in a week, but not other symptoms – they rather deteriorated.
Finally, after a troubled week I took bath and stood before the mirror to see my swollen face and tired body. Next, I applied oil on my head and as I leaned to pick up a comb I got tremors to see a flock of hair in my palms. I almost got a heart attack as I saw so much of hair untangled from my head. As I moved my hands again I got a big flock again; hairs on my scalp were almost gone. It was a devastating moment; my head was reeling with thoughts – how ugly I will look, how my friends will laugh at me, and similar depressing thoughts. Very soon they turned true as well. The news spread like a forest fire in the campus hostel; boys were visiting me like I was in casualty ward of a hospital. My hirsute body had fetched me the name ‘bear’ in hostel which changed to ‘bald bear’ now.
I was just 24 and I had lost almost all my hair. Life had changed and I was suddenly looking mature. I started a homeopathic treatment to console myself, and more so to console my mother. She was so saddened by this loss that for some months she was just thinking about how to grow my hair back as if it were vegetables in her kitchen garden. Every second day she introduced a new oil or therapy. Onion pulp, herb oils and so many formulas were tried by her on my head. None worked. As time passed, I was settling with the situation, though at times I was reminded of it by strangers—especially women—when in buses they addressed me as ‘Uncle! Side please’. That would be a real bad hair-day unlike others.
I shifted to Mumbai for my post graduation and now kept hair shorter which looked sober and kempt. But still there was a pain hidden deep in my heart for being bald. This had become a part of my identity; ‘that bald fellow’ was a common reference for me. One of my friends had given me a hep name as well –‘Tuckles’ deriving from the Hindi word ‘takla’ which means bald. These were some revivers of the pain I had been trying to get rid of. Nevertheless, life went on. I started working again after my post grad studies. After a while, my life took a turn.
I started visiting a Hare Krishna temple close to my office. My college friends were busy putting extra hours with their newly started careers, while I finished my office duties and found it more meaningful to spend time in temple. I attended several spiritual discourses and melodious kirtans , and read literatures available in temple. While I went there I continued my interests with watching International film festivals, creative writing classes and a bit of photography. But something clicked more with the Hare Krishna temple: the beautiful Radha – Krishna, always endowed with a blissful smile, and the soothing chanting of Hare Krishna hymns.
At the Hare Krishna temple no one ever pointed out my bald look which was otherwise so frequent in the world outside; people outside were more concerned with my falling hair but here people were more concerned with my rising faith. In a spiritual social society, spiritual status quo has more precedence than the social status quo—how we see the world is more important than how the world sees us; I liked this.
Three years passed and now I lived at one of the Hare Krishna centers for working men, actively participating in their activities. Every day in my Hare Krishna life brought more fulfillment and happiness like a baker’s dozen leaving me more interested in the process. During that phase I was closely interacting with the Hare Krishna monks, a different and dynamic breed on the planet. Some of them were doctors, some engineers and many others were MBAs, CAs, singers, painters, writers, chefs, etc. You name it, and you will find every talent amongst or between one of them. I was developing keen interest in their lifestyle and my affinity with them and to be with them was increasing, more so for a similar NO-hair style.
Soon I was on the cross roads of life, confused to choose a career on one side and a more fulfilling life of selfless service to society on the other. To resolve this puzzle, I prayed intensely to Radha-Krishna and left for home. I was visiting my home, in Delhi, almost after six months. My parents and brothers were happy to see me back. They would always urge me to shift back to Delhi but I always excused on the pretext of my career. As my mother and I sat for lunch, when father and brothers had gone for work, she again initiated the discussion of my marriage. I heard her patiently and remained silent. “Say something, how more will you delay?”She asked. “I don’t want to get married Maa,” and I revealed my heart to her. “What about us…” she replied. “What about ….? Maa!” I sighed. When my father returned I was called on the carpet but decision was left to my mother.
There was a silence between us for next three days as we were exchanging mandatory phrases. Forth day before leaving for Mumbai, I bowed down to touch their feet. My mother caressed my hair and smirked, “Son, you can let your hair down.” Tears trickled down her face as she blessed me for the journey on forth.
With the blessings from my parents I could dare to bare my head and that was the end of my hair problems! The problem of my hair had become the problem of my life, which I have transcended now. Today, I am a shaven headed monk living a life centered on faith. I chant, dance, and render service for God and humanity and I am happy doing that. My new life like a dove represents the mystical quality and liberty, possessed by all mankind, to break the bonds of family, nation and materialism and to bond with the supreme. With the old life I am leaving my hair and problems behind forever…
Arjun K Ramachandra
Jul 18th, 2012
We can clearly observe the difference in attitudes of spiritually minded people who focus on internal development and materialistic people who focus on external appearances. A very touching story indeed. Thanks for sharing this.
amit mundhada
Jul 18th, 2012
thanks. sometimes what may think are problems for us are actually blessings by LORD
Ashish
Jul 20th, 2012
Good one Manish….you seem to have found the one thing that everyone needs….Passion for something, whatever it may be (for some its business, for others its money)….
madhusudan
Jul 20th, 2012
I feel inspired to ‘let my hair down’ too. Please tell how I can contact you Hare Krishnas.
Sachidanand
Jul 21st, 2012
I find this story very inspiring , no doubt Manish, you were always spiritual and our guru to tell us the importance of various kavach and read to us. You indeed have grown so much and so mature on this path of happiness. You will have me as a friend today and always. Hare Krishna.
Sheetal
Jul 22nd, 2012
Hello Manish Sir, ..!!
i dont have much words to write..just feeling happiness and pride that i know you.!!
Many thanks for sharing it Sir..!!
Gayatri Gaitonde
Jul 23rd, 2012
Hari Bol.
NameRuchi-JiveDaya and Vaishnav Seva 3 pillars have solved hair problem.
I wish you best for your future.
Great article.
Prajakta Timbe
Jul 23rd, 2012
Nice article.Thanks for sharing it.Really inspiring.
Animesh
Jul 24th, 2012
Very nice article Manish – All the instances in the story have been portrayed very beautifully with all the emotions behind them. Very few people have courage to live their life in service of god, but, you have made everyone proud by doing so! Stay blessed.
Sudha
Jul 25th, 2012
Wonderful. Everything happens for a purpose. god bless.
gaurav
Jul 27th, 2012
thank you for the wonderful article. amazing how problems can be tr4anscended in association of devotees and how in outer worrld people are insensitive and devotees so sensitive with dealings.
Udisha
Aug 3rd, 2012
I m just stunned to read it…. I don’t know how to thank you for sharing this…!
Vidya Patham
Aug 30th, 2012
Thank you for sharing this wonderful story about your life which finally culminated at the lotus feet of the Lord who is also called Keshav, the one with beautiful and long hair.
nandkishor das
Sep 7th, 2012
for acheiving higher taste one should give up lower taste
Hare Bol Das
Sep 23rd, 2012
Hare Krsna – Your incredible web site has already added joy to my heart. Sing the praises associated with Lord Ramachandra.
Sumit Sharma
Sep 28th, 2012
Krishna Consciousness is about everything. Thanks for sharing it!
swathi .k
Sep 30th, 2012
This article is very heart touching rich with lots of emotions.
Milind M Churi
Nov 16th, 2012
Thank you very much for authors free and frank discussion on how he became Hare-Krishna and how problems of his material existence were wiped out with transcendental association in Hare-Krishna ashram.The discussion touched my heart.Thank you very much for such free and frank talk.
Vishnu
Dec 24th, 2012
The author has nicely transcended his problem, not by visiting all sorts of doctors but by surrendering to Lord Krishna.
nandkishor das
Jan 4th, 2013
Wonderful gift of God & your positive attitude
With the old life I am leaving my hair and problems behind forever…
Shukla Mishra
Jan 11th, 2013
Radhanath Swami is undoubtedly doing a great service to India by popularising the message of Lord Krishna all over the world.